


Deimos's New Year's Resolution!

by nrr



Category: Madness Combat (Web Series)
Genre: Platonic or romantic you decide, just dudes doing stuffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nrr/pseuds/nrr
Summary: Deimos just thought up his new year's resolution at 5am. and Sanford was like, sure, why not?
Relationships: Deimos & Sanford (Madness Combat)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Deimos's New Year's Resolution!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for fun so yeah don't expect much. criticizing is very much welcome.

It was five in the morning, but there was no different from four by the midnight. The sky was as red as ever just like any other time, any other day.  
Sanford woke up in his bed, half-naked as usual. His migraine only worsen from this foul stench of alcohol. After a long day of killing, playing videogame, which Sanford died a lot and Deimos was being salty, and drinking hard had worn him out. A peaceful slumber was what he desired. He didn't even bother to take a shower before bed last night. He just wasted and laid in bed with a bottle of liquor in his arms. It was now rolling on the ground.  
And if it wasn't for the loud scratching noise downstairs, he wouldn't wake up by now.

"Sanford!" Deimos shouted out his name, loudly stomping upstairs to where his friend was. In his hand held a much too long of a paper, as if it was a scroll of magic or something. His friend's nauseously high pitched voice was a perfect recipe to brew the best migraine and it wasn't a compliment.  
Proudly, in his trenchcoat and flashy boxer, Deimos let the scroll unfolded itself on the floor, revealing a list of... bucket lists?

"I just thought up my new year's resolution!"

Sanford squinted his eyes to read those first few small texts. His headache grew. "These are all just your heat of the moment wishes, Deimos. How is 'wanting to eat Mc at 5' a new year's resolution?" Sanford grunted in annoyance as he didn't even bother to read the paper's next, next, next little texts.

"I just want to make it short and doable, dude," his friend pounted. "It's not like I'm going to live through another year," he said, followed with a bitter laugh and a scrowl appeared on his face.

The laughter died down as Sanford stood up from his bed, fuming. His face displayed no emotion, yet he knew he was pretty upset. Obviously, he hated how casually this guy joked about a matter of life and death. And Deimos is fully aware of it. He knew how much Sanford despised the joke.

It's just... it's not funny when you never know how or when you'll die from this line of work.

He calmed his anger down and let out a sigh, but his migraine lingered still, "We don't need to wait until new year." Sanford reached for his black bandana and his shades in the drawer, "We can fulfill your bucket list now."

"It's my new year's resolution!"

"Whatever," he chuckled and grabbed the car key. "After eating Mc at five then what's next?"

Deimos's face was brighten.

"Are you kidding me?!" angrily, Deimos let out a dramatic screeching.  
A smirk played on Sanford's lips as he watched his friend cried in front of the closing sign. But the sobbing stopped shortly and replaced with a short laugh, "We can come back at nine anyway. So, fuck you, sign," he flipped a middle finger at it.

"You done?" Sanford quickly faded out his smile. He shuffled the car keys from palm to palm impatiently, leaning heavily on their cabriolet.  
He really loved to play the role of that one friend who annoyed with everything.

Deimos walked over to him and caught the key middle air. He grinned widely, ignoring the closed Mc and grumbled stomach completely, "I'll drive."

Damn him and his positivity.

"You wrote that you want to drive at full speed," Sanford watched calmly as the speedometer gauge rose to full, madly tickling between 180 and 200. The car went full speed simultaneously with Deimos who was also went full hysteria. His laugh intensified as the car bumped into something unidentified, probably not alive anymore or never in the first place.  
This was the reason why Sanford can't trust his friend to touch the steering wheel.

His headache lighten as the wind blew across his face and bare chest. But it was just a short moment. The cool breeze was taking him away until the car suddenly stopped. His face dipped into the car's leather storage and jerked back roughly back to his seat.

"What the fuck, Deimos?" he grunted and groaned in pain while the person in question was already stepping out of the car, looking fine.

Deimos took them to some place, somewhere and nowhere that Sanford never been here before. In front of him was an abyss of a cliff... When did they get onto the cliff anyway?

The two looked out the hell scape. Red sky, grey ground, dead sun.  
Everything oh, so hopeless.

"There's nothing here."

"I know," Deimos took a deep breath and stepped back to the car. "Hop in," he ordered, gently patting the passenger seat.

Sanford raised his eyebrows in puzzlement at his friend's frantically confusing behavior, "Is this also what's on your bucket list?"

"Yep."

It was now eleven in the morning or was it noon already? He couldn't tell from this ever red sky and the lack of Sun.  
During their drive back down from the cliff, for some reason, Deimos decided to drive at 50 like any good Nevadean citizen should. Driving at slow speed kinda pissed himself off while Sanford just chilling to the cold wind and looking out to the scenary of hell.

"Should we go grab something real quick?" Deimos asked as he turned the wheel to the far right.

Sanford didn't even bother to answer since they already arrived at, um... where was the place again? Why were they here at the crushed, rundown looking bakery? Ah, yes! The Bakery!

Deimos hopped off the cabriolet and went straight to the store. Soon enough, Sanford would follow.

Most parts of the bakery were surprisingly intact and the only employee here hadn't yet go insane. Given how wrecked the exterior was, Sanford expected less.

"Sanford, look! You look just like this dough!" Deimos shoved the bread near his friend's face and he was immediately swatted away.

"How the fuck do I look like a baguette?"

"Hmm-hmm," Deimos hummed, swinging the bread around, "It's pretty crusty outside but actually on the inside, it's pretty soft and airy," he smiled sheepishly, then looked at him in the eyes, "It's just like you."

The clerk cleared his throat at the two, wondering if his customers just want to flirt around silly or buy his goddamn bread already.

"Ish itc kood?" Deimos asked his passenger, mouthful with bunch of toast that they were stupidly sticking out of his mouth.  
He made a u-turn and drove, again, at 50 and, again, pissed how slow the cabriolet was. Deimos just wanted his friend to enjoy the hollow blow of the cool wind and the somewhat beautiful view of the red Nevada's very late afternoon sky, he guess? Oh well, he didn't really understand it himself.

"I'm not a fan of crusty thing," Sanford sucked up his lemonade from the plastic straw and took a bite out of his cold bread then chewed, "But who know a baguette would go so damn well with lemonade's sour?" He reached for another bread in the paper bag but was punched by the driver. Sanford looked at him, confused rather than anger.

Deimos screamed at Sanford's face, "Don't touch my freaking croissant!" He was distracted from the road, both hands up in the air and not on the steering wheel, "Didn't your mom teach you not to touch other's croissant?!"

"Deimos! The car! The fucking CAR!"

Ah, what a peaceful evening for him. No gunfire, no people dying and no ninja breached in to slaughter.  
The agent in black tie and black shades bopped his head up and down along his favorite tune from the radio, driving down the road home at 40.  
The cool winter breeze greeted his face gently.  
It was a slow day at the L33T's quarter, so he wanted to take things slowly...

The agent put a cigarette in his mouth and looking for the lighter in his pocket, eyes still locked on the road.  
He couldn't wait to go back to his home and back to his wife's embrace and get a kiss on a cheek from his lovely daughter anymore...  
And whoa... a flying, flipping car... soar high in the sky and up in the air.

So cool.  
The agent watched in awe that his cig fell off his lips.

Welp, nothing unusual. It's Nevada after all. Moving on. To home.

The car did the 360 flip in the air and land perfectly on the other side of the road. Thank. to Sanford's steering skill, no one die, yet, just Deimos being pushed and almost crushed under his large buddy's body.

"Man, that was..." The two spoke at the same time.

"Freakin' awesome!" Deimos chimed.

"The fucking worst..." and Sanford groaned. He was drenched in his lemonade.

"Dude, you oughta teach me to do that!" he said with a happy, idiotic smile on his face. Sanford could feel his painful headache come back for another round just from this moron's voice he called a friend. Calmly, Sanford adjusted his clumsily placed round shades.

"We almost die, Deimos," he grunted, but didn't have enough energy to scold him. The punch on the face still hurt, but his migraine hurt more.

"Just like that time when we go retrieve Hank's body, eh?" Deimos laughed, shoving his friend back to his seat.

Confused, Sanford questioned, "What are you on about?"

"And that time when we were on the mission to revive him... I..."

"Shut it, Deimos. You hit your head or something?" He placed his palm on his friend's lips, but it covered most of his face.  
What was the thing he was going to say? Sanford didn't bother to listen to the answer since he already knew... what it was all about...

"Sorry," Deimos said, under his buddy's big palm. He brushed the hand off gently and gave him an apologetic smile, almost a sad one, "My head is fine, so don't worry."

Sanford felt like his migraine had been grow, too much to bear alone. It intensified. A lot.

They set out to the next journey, following Deimos's new year's resolution. Most of the texts were already crossed out, something stupid like breath in and out at the same time, run after the car or something like that. It was a dumb long list, but Sanford didn't mind to cooperate with his friend's wishes at all. Not at all.

"Only 'eating Mc at five' left, eh?"

"It's almost night already, so let's change it to 'eating Mc at ten' then," Deimos said, quietly as they drove on the road through the silent night.

A sudden coldness hit him on his neck. Sanford shuddered, the car also jumped too, as he noticed his friend had put a freezing can of cola against his nape. He took the cola with annoyed grunt and Deimos laughed out loud at his reaction.

A soda popped and fizzled. Deimos, now in a back passenger seat, chugging down the sugary drinks down his throat in one gulp and choked a bit. His other hand held his McDonald's burger dearly as Sanford carefully drove on the rough dirt road, back to the home they shared.

"Isn't this is just our regular Sunday? Doing random shits and go back home?" Deimos took a bite out of the stuffy burger, chewing with his mouth full. A scrowl appeared on his face as he recalled today's events.

"Did you just realize that?" Sanford smirked, his usual smug grin was back on his lips again.  
The pounding in his brain, his migraine had subsided already as their cabriolet approaching home.

From the backseat, Deimos blurted out loud, almost yelling, "Then this list is freaking useless?" he threw the paper away, "Boooooriiiing." Then he sprung back, "Let's have you write your new year's resolution, Sanford!"

"Oh, yeah? What should I write then?" He slowed down until the cabriolet stopped and twisted the car's key out.

"Anything, of course! It's your resolution, think of whatever you want or you can have the same as mine!"

Sanford looked at him with a grin across his face, reaching his hand for him to grab, "I wouldn't write something so meaningless like you, though."

"Oh? Yeah? What do you deem meaningful then?" Deimos kicked his buddy's hand away in a playful manner. He pouted a bit, but soon follow with a smile.

He stepped a few centimeters from car then stopped and thought for a moment, "I'll think about it later."

"You're no fun sometimes, Sanford." 

"So I'm fun most of the time?"

Deimos chuckled and kicked the car's door open, "Fuck yeah! Let's go inside and win that fucking level this time!"

His buddy threw his arm into the air and lean on the other side of his neck, pulling him close and soon, Sanford did the same.  
They both put a hands on each other's shoulders and walked back to their house with smiles on their faces.

For this man new year's resolution, it would require you to be alive throughout the year, Deimos.

**Author's Note:**

> I miss my dark tumblr year sometimes...  
> ugh.


End file.
